A professional writer shares his relationship building secrets.

By Guest | December 29, 2009

Or … effective writing that builds relationships every time.

There are lots of factors that help to build that mystical thing called a relationship: honesty, reliability, trustworthiness, charm, empathy, newsworthiness, ethics, outspokenness. But if you don’t have them, you may find it hard to learn them. Without them your career as an online writer may be short lived.

Time, practice and experience will hone your communication skills, but in the short term, let’s look at what I believe are the critical factors in effective relationship building with your readers that you can apply straight away.

The secret to building a great relationship with your list is to stop thinking about the people you write to as a list. Nobody builds relationships with lists – only with people. One to one.

When I sit down to write Kickstart Today, I never write to a list. I write to Richard, who I met for the first time at a seminar and who sent me a Christmas card. I write to Pearson, who started out as a subscriber and soon became a close mate. I write to Margaret, who sends me lovely emails. I write to my daughter, who reads Kickstart at work.

Right now, for example, I’m imagining that you have asked me a question about building relationships through your writing and I am simply answering you. As your relationship with your readers grows and they write to you with more comments and questions, your need to imagine reduces.

You’ll find that the better you get at writing to one person at a time, the more of your readers will resonate with what you’ve said. It is human nature to project ourselves into a situation and, by and large, we all share similar thoughts and concerns.

When you imagine yourself writing for one person, the rest of the crowd will eagerly listen in. But if you write to the crowd, you’ll soon alienate the individual.

There are two often-repeated bits of advice that you’ll hear time and again:

1. Use the words I and Me as infrequently as possible and concentrate on ‘you’ and ‘your’. Readers don’t want to hear about you.

2. Sell something to your list every message to ‘train’ them to be more receptive.

Both are nonsense if building relationships that are what you want to do.

The information that you provide in your writing is only one reason that people read what you have to say. Newsletters that are totally focused on topic tend to be quite boring to read. There is no personality. You can’t build a relationship if you write like a text book. It is vital – especially online – to inject yourself and your life into what you write.

In my opinion – and experience – you simply can’t talk about yourself too much! Whenever I talk about my family and friends, the number of emails I get from subscribers eager to know more rockets! Of course, you can’t run a newsletter that is entirely about you! That stuff should only be the icing on a rich, content-filled cake.

A good newsletter is like a soap opera – it draws the reader into the life of the writer and makes him or her eager to know more.

It is the personal information that is most effective for relationship building because the same things are happening in the lives of each one of your readers to a greater or lesser extent. By sharing your humanity you are putting yourself at the same level as the reader. Each time he or she say’s ‘yes, that’s happened to me’ or ‘I thought that too’ you have found a new best friend.

Then there is the vexed question of how often you should try to sell things to your readers. The nature of a newsletter lends itself to constantly bombarding your poor readers with offer after offer, but unless you have a great writing style and personality to match, it can be counterproductive.

You will sometimes find a newsletter writer who has mastered the art of the constant hard sell, but most who try it just end up looking over-eager to grab your money.

My own policy is to only recommend things that I’ve used and love, and to only recommend anything when I’m moved to. That means I often go weeks without recommending a single product, but when I do tell my readers about something, they appreciate the recommendation.

Another important aspect to relationship building is how frequently you publish.

Many ezines and newsletters publish monthly – way to infrequently, in my view, for serious relationship building. Even weekly publication can be slow if you are not a strong and personal writer.

As you develop as a writer you’ll find it easier to write more often. You don’t need to write huge newsletters every time – it is the frequency of contact that matters, not the length of your prose! So long as you are interesting and amusing you can publish every day if you like. Just don’t become boring!

When your readers complain that they haven’t received an issue, you know that you’ve made a connection.

Naturally, the strongest writing you can put in your newsletter is that which you’ve written yourself. Tempting as it is to use other people’s articles, if you want to build a relationship with your readers, the majority of what they read from you should be by you.

Many ezine publishers still fill each issue with other people’s articles. While that isn’t a bad thing in moderation, too much can be. The whole point of building a relationship with your readers is so that they will want to hear about you, your life and what you think. Don’t be afraid to give it to them. That does mean you have to learn the craft of writing, but the rewards are well worth the effort.

And while we are talking about writing, try to unlearn most of what you’ve been taught about grammar. You are not writing for your English teacher, you should be writing like you are talking to a close friend.

Write conversationally, using conversational grammar (sentences CAN start with and, contractions are better than okay!)

Which brings us right back to the beginning – when you sit down to write, every paragraph that leaves your fingers is a conversation with one person who is sitting in front of you. An old friend, not a list. Relationship building has nothing to do with lists, it is about reaching one person at a time.

Our relationship starts the instant you subscribe to Kickstart Today. Kickstart Today brings inspiration and motivation to your day. From famous quotations to the latest news from the world of Interenet marketing. From personal development tips to reviews of the latest moves – you’ll never be bored!

Article kindly provided by UberArticles.com

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