Grief and Loss Experience

By Maurice Turmel PhD | February 9, 2010

Grief and loss are typically associated with death and dying, usually involving the loss of a loved one. But the category can also encompass loss of job, home or relationship as additional dimensions of experience. Grief resources and recovery programs are subsumed under this umbrella and are usually designed to help us with all aspects of loss.

Losing a loved one is what we typically associate with grief and loss. But losses of many types can also generate powerful grief reactions. We include here broken relationships, loss of a pet and loss of employment. When the loss experience strikes we immediately want relief and begin seeking some kind of recovery help.

Today we can see grief and loss associated with divorce, relationship breakup, pet grief and loss of employment. We can also see associations with the loss of ones home, place of business and career aspirations as some hopes and dreams never materialize. We tend not to see these as grief and loss categories, but in fact they are losses that affect us in similar ways as losing a loved one.

This article aims to point out the many common denominators grief and loss reveals over all of the above related dimensions. We grief our loved ones. We mourn the loss of the family pet. We suffer over a recent breakup. We fall into depression over the loss of our job or business.

What is the central point here? Why do we examine grief and loss from all these points of view? Because at the heart of every crisis is an emotional wound. We feel hurt, depressed and sad. We feel lost and afraid. Something we valued has been taken away. We feel pain associated with any loss and that usually elicits anger as a first response. These reactions are typical in every type of grief and loss experience.

Grief and loss, as a life experience, emerges in many aspects of our lives. Learning to relieve ourselves of stress via relevant grief recovery programs can have far reaching benefits. Recovering our usual bounce and drive is a worthy goal and significant benefit in grief recovery. Whatever we learn about dealing with grief and loss can be applied across its many dimensions and occurences.

Growing, expanding and losing are part of the life cycle. A snake crawls into the tall grass in order to shed its old skin. Why? Because the new underneath is pressing for release. Each cyle of our life presents circumstances in which we lose something to gain something better. Letting go is a tough life lesson, but essential to our growth. The old must die so that the new can be born.

Our biggest loss is always the death of a loved one. On a well known stress scale, this type of loss is just ahead of divorce and moving, two more examples of grief and loss. Learning to manage our daily losses, big and small, can well equip us for dealing with the big one when it inevitably strikes. A good grief resource becomes our most valuable guide during such circumstances and will lead us toward a healthy recovery.

Recovery from grief and loss, in all its varied forms, requires that we deal with our emotions. When we are emotionally vulnerable we can find a deeper meaning to life and acquire new and lasting friendships where we initially saw hurt and sorrow. Every loss carries a benefit, even if it takes years to uncover. Letting go emerges as grief and loss’ primary lesson.

Dr Maurice Turmel is a veteran grief and loss therapist with 25 years experience. He is the author of “How to Cope with Grief and Loss” audio ebook that has helped thousands with their grief and loss recovery.

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