Leaving an Abusive Relationship

By Liz Johnson | April 21, 2009

Letting go of an abusive partner is surprisingly one of the toughest choices that victims of abuse will eventually make. Victims are often unaware of the unhealthy turn of their relationship and tend to stay trapped in it unless concerned family members and friends bail them out.

An abuser may develop the attitude that the abuse that they are exposed to is normal, or even deserved, but it is not. If you have recently realized that you are in a relationship that is not healthy, you may be considering leaving. Here, I will provide information on leaving an abusive relationship.

Opting out of an abusive and unhealthy relationship is not a one-time deal. Prepare to brave through a number of phases before you make your way out. The first phase involves your rationalization of your partners behavior.

In this phase, you think of reasons to reconcile or explain your partners abusive behavior: You have done something very wrong and deserve to be abused as a form of punishment. You also presume that your partner is plagued with problems which account for the aggressive behavior. When you are in the rationalization stage, you should allow yourself to be egotistical. Your life is your own business and your responsibility. Your partner should not make you the scapegoat for any screw-ups that occur in your relationship.

The next phase that you experience when you are considering leaving an abusive relationship is one in which you feel that you will be unable to live without your partner. This is extremely common. It is quite likely that as you have progressed through the relationship that the person who has abused you has made you dependent on them for many things.

This mentality is not uncommon. It reflects your abusive partners hold over you. Abusive partners typically want the victim to suffer from an emotional breakdown so they can manipulate the recovering victim at will. You do not need to burden your life with sadness and abuse. Convince yourself that you want to and need to move on.

Undoubtedly, you will be weighing a lot of factors when you want to escape an abusive relationship. Let one of the fundamental factors be your safety. Because your abusive partner is rarely able to control temper or aggressive behavior, expect small fights to intensify to brawls.

You could become seriously injured, and you could even be killed as a result of physical abuse. If you experience emotional or psychological abuse, you could end up suffering from depression. Believe it or not, this could actually have an impact on your physical health as well. You must consider yourself, your future, and your health.

Once you decide to walk away from an abusive relationship, it is important to understand that the abuser may not like this at all. They could even attempt to hurt you while you are making the attempt. It is important to ensure that you have a plan that includes additional people that can help you through the experience.

It is also important that you do not reveal the details of your new location when leaving. If you consider the points listed here, walking away from an abusive relationship will prove to be the best choice that you will ever make.

Liz Johnson is a recognized expert on bad relationships. If you have found this article useful please visit her web site for more tips, information and practical advice on Opting Out of an Abusive Relationship

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