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Adult Dating Sites – Why Are They So Popular?

By Jayde Johanssen | August 26, 2009

Adult dating sites are ridiculously popular these days! I visited one recently and it boasted over 34 million members. How does that happen? I’ve never seen such numbers at normal dating sites. Why are they so popular? These numbers make adult dating sites look mainstream, while normal dating site with their relatively paltry numbers look positively “niche”.

But the behavior at adult dating sites don’t reflect the day to day behavior of people in society. People typically don’t go straight to sexual relations. They date, get to know the person, and it progresses from there. So why are these sites so popular?

Obviously the internet gives us an element on anonymity. Does this anonymity though, change us? Does it give us the courage to be more honest about what we want and what we ask for. Its possible I guess. The pain of rejection at such a website barely exists. Rejection in the form of a nasty email or no email, is much easier to take than rejection in the form of a slapped cheek or thrown drink.

I wonder if this new honesty, which we find on adult dating sites, will spill over into society. Will people gradually become more direct and courageous in public, when searching for a “bed-mate”? Or will this be courage forever require the protection of an internet profile.

Could this have bad consequences too. For example, could a shift to directness start a break down of social niceties, manners and flirting?

Or could it change things in the opposite direction? Will the fear of rejection in public become more acute, for its absence on the internet? If so, will the next generation of daters be more averse to socializing and meeting people outside websites?

Sometimes I spend quite sometime thinking about such things. For now though, I’ll put those thoughts aside. There are over 30 million people at this new website I just joined, thats a lot of people to meet, I am going to be busy.

Jayde Johanssen, amazed by the cult following of adult dating sites, wonders whether the phenomena will impact society itself

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