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The 'Misery is Not Miserly' Effect The John F. Kennedy School for Government at Harvard University recently released a study that found that even momentary sadness causes people to increase spending. Getting Grateful "It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." -Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich or Financial Success Through Creative Thought The Consequences of Refusing to Persuade "No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority." --Joseph Addison Unstick Your Thoughts With Attitude I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! I AM YOUR MASTER. I can make you rise or fall. I can make you a success or failure. I can work for or against you. I control your feelings and actions. I can make your heart sing with happiness. I can make you wretched, dejected, or morbid. I can make you angry and resentful. I can make you lonely, discouraged or depressed. I can make you sick, listless. I can be a shackle, heavy and burdensome. I can be a prism's hue, dancing bright and colorful. I can be nurtured and grown to be beautiful. I can never be removed, only replaced. I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! (author unknown) Jumping Off the Bandwagon Phew! Boy, are things getting pricey. If we don't feel it, at least we've noticed it. Food is more expensive because delivering the food has become really expensive because gas prices are insanely inflated because we're heading into summer so that fear of scarcity is being amped up and . . . well, it's pretty darn complicated, isn't it? My point, things are expensive. How to Drink from a Fire Hose Every year around this time, I start a new cycle of classes and as usual, I've got some eager, excited, anticipating students, many of whom will (I can already tell) work themselves into a bit of a frenzy wanting to soak up as much persuasion as possible in a short period of time. As one client put it, "I kind of feel like I'm drinking water out of a fire hose." Binding Persuasion Binds are a fascinating strategy in persuasion which should be used sparingly, a little 'persuasion seasoning' so to speak. Persuasion And Your Brain "The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche Unthinkable Persuasion There's a bumper sticker I saw recently that said, "Don't believe everything you think." Ironically, I found this oddly thought provoking. Something about it resonated with me. There's something to the idea that thinking is a little bit overrated. Persuasion and Focus Here's an understatement for you: we live in a world of distractions. In every facet of life we are bombarded. As I sit here typing, for example, I'm getting 'new e-mail' alerts, my assistant is instant messaging me, my kids and dog want to play, I'm thirsty, the phone is ringing. . . you get the point. Just writing one paragraph can be exhausting when there are so many things dividing ones attention. Two Sides of the Same Coin "You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you." --Arnold Bennett Winning Through Framing Has this ever happened to you? You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, maybe not, and those red and blue lights begin to flash in your rear view mirror. So you pull over and prepare your papers. . . license, registration, proof of insurance. And the law enforcement officer makes his way to your window, quickly so as to not waste your time, and politely says, 'Hi. . .I'm just wondering if you . . .I'm so sorry to bother you. But would you mind showing me your license and registration? I think there might have been a slight infraction of the law and I'd really like to clear it up if you don't mind. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.' Persuading Personally There are certain cultural norms and rules of decorum people are expected to adhere to in society and in business contexts specifically. I am of the mind that rules are meant to be bent, if not broken entirely. Softening up Your Prospects There's something I'm curious about. . . Self Persuasion Through Organization If you're anything like me, you're a very busy person. Not only am I busy with regular things--teaching, family, health maintenance--I'm also in the midst of a moving, requiring an added list of what needs to be done. It's hard to believe how much has to be done in a day and because this is on my mind, I'm inspired to write more on the topic of organization as I believe it has helped keep me on even footing in a time of change. The Final Four: Linguistic Pitfalls Part Two Seems like some of my readers are paying attention and that's awesome. I wrote part one of this article a while back. It talks about eight common and avoidable pitfalls we have in language. In the article I wrote about 'but', 'if', 'try', and 'might' and how these words dilute the power of our language and dull our ability to persuade. Well, a few of my more observant readers noticed that if there are eight pitfalls and I only cited four, there must be four more traps out there with the potentia Getting Touchy Feely Here's part three in the four part series of articles about the representational systems of communication. Previously I wrote an overview of the different systems and how we can use these to gain rapport for easier persuasion and then went into more detail about visual language. Well, with a title containing the words 'touchy feely' this can only be about kinesthetic language, words that describe things in a way so as to be touching and feeling. The Use of Scapegoats In Persuasion "United We Stand". For a while there nearly every other car in the country had a bumper sticker appealing to us to stand united, implicitly suggesting that this was our only salvation, because what happens when we don't stand united? That's right. We fall divided. Presupposition and Persuasion At the core of presupposition is the idea that we can assume a mental position or thought which our prospects or clients must take for granted in order for everything else that we say to make sense without us actually having to name the core concept. The Synergy of Affluence I'm so excited about a fairly recent addition to my coaching club: one-on-one calls with my students. These calls give us an opportunity to get into all kinds of things, from persuasion, affluence, and specialized help for specific areas where there might be struggle, to more spiritual matters. It seems like I'm getting as much out of these calls as my students. Slipping Into Our Prospect's Skin Harper Lee wrote in "To Kill a Mockingbird", "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." We've all heard that you can't truly know someone until you walk a mile in his shoes. . . .well, this technique is another figurative exploration in working with the energy of our prospects. Starting from the Beginning I've said it before, and I'll say it many times: Persuasion is first and foremost the study of human nature. And despite the things that are understandable about human nature, we are still very intricate and complex creatures. If all things were equal, there would still be some people who excel and others who get stuck. Do You Need A Swift Kick in the Butt? I've struggled with my weight my whole life. As far back as I can remember, I've felt bad about it. I was stuck in a body that wasn't what I wanted, that didn't fit with how I really saw myself and to me, it represented a weakness. Andrew Carnegie once said, "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." In my heart and mind, I felt this struggle was keeping me from self mastery and frustrated the heck out of me. 'Another Part of Me': Persuasion in Parts Parts. We are all made up of parts. A part of me wants a bagel with cream cheese, but another part of me really wants to continue to become healthier. Part of me wants to go take a nap, but this other part wants to finish the project I started. We divide ourselves into parts as a way to talk about our experiences. The Art of Change 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' --Albert Einstein Who's to blame? "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -Wayne Dyer The Structuring of Reality "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits How The Media Persuades "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche Obstacles Into Opportunities "It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities." --Eric Hoffer Reframing Obstacles Into Opportunities "It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities." --Eric Hoffer Appealing to Emotions in Business This might, on the surface, sound a little out there, but here's something I find overrated: Rationality. Sure, sure, it's important to have a solid foundation, a base from which to work, feet planted firmly on the ground, and all that, but in business the idea of rationality has won out exclusively over all else. In my opinion, we've lost something in the transition from 'mom and pop' businesses to faceless corporations. An integral part of selling our products or services, especially when dealing with an affluent clientle, is our ability to reach them on an emotional level. How to Maintain Good Boundaries in Rapport "It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer Using the Forbidden to Persuade 'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer Persuading with the Awareness Pattern "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." -Henry Miller Blame as Persuasion: Use with Caution I have written previously about the term 'everything happens for a reason' as a technique to utilize the inherent trust many people have in this concept. I also wrote about how superstition can be a powerful persuasive tool. If you've read those articles and put the tools to work in your life, you already understand the power they hold. Adjusting Your Lens In previous articles I've discussed some framing basics. Obviously, framing can't be summed up in a few little articles, but it's a foundation from which to build our persuasion arsenals. Resolutions Yup. It's that time of year again. Fresh starts, new beginnings, an opportunity to recreate ourselves anew. . . I love welcoming a new year with hope and optimism. I love to set out a game plan for the upcoming year. The New Year's resolution is a concept devoted to self improvement and I am relentless about self improvement. The Frame of Beginning Beginnings are everywhere all the time. Everything has a beginning, middle and end. And when we begin with clarity and intention, it sets our path for what we can expect. Sitting down to start a presentation with a new client or prospect, how do you begin? Hopping Into Someone Else's Skin You've heard the saying; you can't know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This is a technique on how to gain rapport by jumping into another person, stepping in, sliding in, moving in, being in that person, figuratively walking a mile in their shoes. Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Buyer's Remorse And How to Short Circuit It It's human nature to want to believe that we have done something of value when we make a purchase. We like to feel we've used proper sense and keen determination in choosing things that are going to be good for us and of the greatest use. And we most certainly want to know we'll feel good about the choices we've made in the long run. What Are You Full Of? When interacting with our affluent prospects and clients we need to exude confidence and self assuredness. We need to really show them what we're made of. There's a point, however, where confidence becomes over confident and assuredness becomes arrogance. These are not good qualities in a sales professional. Competence, self assurance, and confidence are excellent things to be full of. Emotional Persuasion Through Storytelling I'll admit it. I cry at movies sometimes. I'm comfortable with it and not ashamed in the least. Movies are stories and stories have been used to elicit emotions (either by design or accident) since the beginning of man. Some of the most fantastic stories are tremendously moving. This emotion can be manifested as a 'feel good' or a 'tear jerker', it can be uplifting or depressing, revolutionary, or merely entertaining. The most important thing to keep upper most in your mind as you think about st Layers of Complexity in Life and Persuasion: I Am An Onion I love metaphors. And one metaphor that has been especially potent for me lately has been that of an onion. A core component of The Cleveland Method deals with an understanding of our own core drives and unconscious motivations. It's by focusing inward that we can genuinely understand others. Unselfconscious Affluence Of course, we didn't all grow up financially comfortable. Several of my most successful students are real rags to riches stories gaining their vast financial successes through single-minded perseverance, education, hard work, intention and a little luck. Becoming Magnetic A very spiritual woman I know shared the following with me: she said, 'I used to have unfortunate beliefs about myself and I received back from external influences unfortunate results. When I decided to take control and raise my resonance, to be the change I wanted to become, to allow abundance and love come flow through me, absolutely everything fell into place. I am now living a life of leisure with a beautiful husband and I can draw what I want into my universe at will.' Beyond Boxes If you've ever sold anything ever, you've probably been subjected to the dreaded 'sales training' where you may have been taught your typical 'features and benefits' type training or some other easily definable, package-able, pat kind of interaction between prospect and sales professional. I learned these myself as a young man and quickly realized they were a road to nowhere. I had an awakening which opened up my sales unbelievably. Contrary: Dealing with Polarity Responders What's a polarity responder? We've all had dealings with them. They are someone who no matter what the situation, statement or issue at hand, has to respond in opposition. 'It's a beautiful day.' The Continuums of Persuasion: Keys to Your Prospect's Particulars Recently I heard a pretty funny joke: 'I have the idea that one person's dream is another person's nightmare. For example, it's my dream to sleep with Cindy Crawford. I'll bet you anything that would be her nightmare.' Persuasion Continuums: The Key To Your Prospect's Particulars I heard a joke recently that I thought was pretty funny. 'I have the idea that one person's dream is another person's nightmare. For example, it's my dream to sleep with Cindy Crawford. I'll bet you anything that would be her nightmare.' Persistence Here's a quote by Dale Carnegie. "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." Negating Words: But I really like you, but. . . Seeing What Sticks: The Old Fashioned Way to Sell How do you know when your pasta is done cooking? You take one noodle and throw it up against the wall. If it sticks, it's done. The old-fashioned sales technique of 'features and benefits' makes me think of throwing a whole pot of noodles against the wall to see what sticks. Why not narrow it down to your client's criteria instead of taking a shot in the dark and throwing everything you can at it? Returning to Bondage "The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependence; from dependency back again into bondage." --Sir Alex Fraser Tyler (1742-1813) Scottish jurist and historian The Self Fulfilling Prophesy of Breath "Simply breathe - deeply and often, and whatever you do, don't stop breathing!" --Cheryl Lynne Rubbo This is a great exercise in leading your affluent prospects and clients and taking full credit for something they do every day, something so basic and primal that three minutes without it would kill them. I'm talking, of course, about breathing. Persuade the Affluent Through Embedded Suggestions "Persuasion is often more effectual than force." -Aesop How to Stifle Your Prospect's Inner Critics Critical judgment. . . it's an obstacle for us as sales professionals and persuaders. Our main goal is shutting down the inner critics of the people we're selling our products or services to. This can be accomplished by getting them out of their lives and showing them what could be, something bigger and better. Superstition As Persuasion When a person sneezes, we say 'God bless you'. That's a superstition. It started in the Middle Ages when it was thought that the devil could enter a person when unguarded, such as in the midst of a sneeze. If someone said the magic words, 'God bless you', immediately after the sneeze, then this unfortunate demonic possession could be avoided. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire Under the heading of 'human nature' comes lying. Humans lie. Period. Big lies, small lies, lies to spare feelings, lies to spare trouble. Clean Out Your Trash You've heard the saying, "a person takes three steps forward and two back". How would you like to eliminate the need to take the two steps back? Getting Into The Flow "The real 'haves' are they who can acquire freedom, self-confidence, and even riches without depriving others of them. They acquire all of these by developing and applying their potentialities. On the other hand, the real 'have nots' are they who cannot have aught except by depriving others of it. They can feel free only by diminishing the freedom of others, self-confident by spreading fear and dependence among others, and rich by making others poor." - Eric Hoffer Cold Calling, Rest in Peace Endings are hard. Sometimes we cling to people, places, things, that we've outgrown, because of a nostalgia, or out of habit. Empathy and Persuasion When we become the ultimate empathizer, we are able to identify with, understand, and respond to other's experiences. The Martian's Guide To American Politics Indulge me for a moment while I veer off into the world of fantasy for a moment. The world of make believe, our crazy political world from a martian's perspective. Larry Craig's Incongruency The movie 'The Usual Suspects' has a great interrogation scene. Framing Out of Fear: Islamophobia Prejudice and fear, bigotry and racism exist all around us. Whether you buy into the existence of it or not, we live in a world that has some ingrained phobias and -isms. Race, sex, class, size, religion. . . some people, maybe not you, maybe not me, but some people, believe that they are superior over or have a hatred or fear of another race, gender, religion, etc. Social Positioning To Persuade The Affluent "Do not worry about holding high position; worry rather about playing your proper role." ~Confucius The Function of Gaslighting Here's a great example of a powerful strategy called gaslighting and how to use it in your persuasive situations with the affluent... Frame, Reframe My transcriptionist lived in New Orleans until August 28, 2005, the day before Hurricane Katrina hit. She and her boyfriend and their four cats evacuated with two cars full of valuables and art and 'irreplaceables'. They rode out the storm in Tennessee in a pet friendly hotel. I Just Can't Help Myself: Framing The Third and Fourth Taboos Framing is an amazing persuasion tool which I continue to explore and in this article, I've chosen some pretty volatile topics to make a pretty powerful point. The Power of Need: Persuading Utilizing Your Prospect's Needs "Nothing has more strength than dire necessity." ~ Euripides Keeping it Simple: Persuasion for Beginners "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."-Henry David Thoreau Loops: Language Patterns for Persuasion Persuasion is made up of a lot of things and one of the most powerful techniques is the language pattern. The temporal pattern loop is one of my favorites.

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