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The 'Misery is Not Miserly' Effect The John F. Kennedy School for Government at Harvard University recently released a study that found that even momentary sadness causes people to increase spending. Getting Grateful "It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." -Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich or Financial Success Through Creative Thought The Consequences of Refusing to Persuade "No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority." --Joseph Addison The Art of Procrastination "We shall never have more time. We have, and always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going... Concentrate on something useful." --Arnold Bennett The Upside of Inoculations We all had them as children -- those painful shots that prevented all sorts of nasty diseases. Now that we're grown ups, we know why we needed them, but when we were little kids, it didn't make any difference because the only thing we understood was that they hurt and left us sort. Unstick Your Thoughts With Attitude I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! I AM YOUR MASTER. I can make you rise or fall. I can make you a success or failure. I can work for or against you. I control your feelings and actions. I can make your heart sing with happiness. I can make you wretched, dejected, or morbid. I can make you angry and resentful. I can make you lonely, discouraged or depressed. I can make you sick, listless. I can be a shackle, heavy and burdensome. I can be a prism's hue, dancing bright and colorful. I can be nurtured and grown to be beautiful. I can never be removed, only replaced. I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! (author unknown) Jumping Off the Bandwagon Phew! Boy, are things getting pricey. If we don't feel it, at least we've noticed it. Food is more expensive because delivering the food has become really expensive because gas prices are insanely inflated because we're heading into summer so that fear of scarcity is being amped up and . . . well, it's pretty darn complicated, isn't it? My point, things are expensive. How to Drink from a Fire Hose Every year around this time, I start a new cycle of classes and as usual, I've got some eager, excited, anticipating students, many of whom will (I can already tell) work themselves into a bit of a frenzy wanting to soak up as much persuasion as possible in a short period of time. As one client put it, "I kind of feel like I'm drinking water out of a fire hose." Binding Persuasion Binds are a fascinating strategy in persuasion which should be used sparingly, a little 'persuasion seasoning' so to speak. Persuasion And Your Brain "The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche Unthinkable Persuasion There's a bumper sticker I saw recently that said, "Don't believe everything you think." Ironically, I found this oddly thought provoking. Something about it resonated with me. There's something to the idea that thinking is a little bit overrated. Listen to This "It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes Using the Law of Resonance I heard an interesting story about the law of resonance that I want to share with you. The Law of Resonance is a very similar concept to the law of attraction, but has some distinct differences. The Law of Attraction, as is widely known, is the universal law that determines what you attract into your life based on what you're putting out there. Persuasion and Focus Here's an understatement for you: we live in a world of distractions. In every facet of life we are bombarded. As I sit here typing, for example, I'm getting 'new e-mail' alerts, my assistant is instant messaging me, my kids and dog want to play, I'm thirsty, the phone is ringing. . . you get the point. Just writing one paragraph can be exhausting when there are so many things dividing ones attention. Choosing Your Own Way "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way." - Victor Frankl Good Habits Out of Bad Habits... they come in all forms. Most people think of habits as the irritating things you wish you didn't "have" to do, fingernail biting, knuckle cracking, compulsive snacking, cigarette smoking. Of course smoking is more of a psychological/physical need that is satisfied by another cigarette, so is a little bit more than a habit. Two Sides of the Same Coin "You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you." --Arnold Bennett Winning Through Framing Has this ever happened to you? You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, maybe not, and those red and blue lights begin to flash in your rear view mirror. So you pull over and prepare your papers. . . license, registration, proof of insurance. And the law enforcement officer makes his way to your window, quickly so as to not waste your time, and politely says, 'Hi. . .I'm just wondering if you . . .I'm so sorry to bother you. But would you mind showing me your license and registration? I think there might have been a slight infraction of the law and I'd really like to clear it up if you don't mind. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.' Auditory Persuasion As you listen to what I'm going to tell you, you'll begin to hear the way in which you can use these words to describe most anything. You can orient your phrases and the way in which you talk such that people will resonate with what you're saying very well. If you make your voice calm and smooth you'll probably have an even greater appeal as you verbalize the message you want to get across. You can tune in to what people are telling you as well, becoming more empathic with them and helping them Going The Extra Mile for Your Affluent Clientèle I saw an article recently about the Ritz Carlton Hotel. It's a perfect example of what needs to be done in order to court and cater to (and persuade) an affluent client base. This is exactly the way to keep your clients interested and involved with you and your product or service. Persuading Personally There are certain cultural norms and rules of decorum people are expected to adhere to in society and in business contexts specifically. I am of the mind that rules are meant to be bent, if not broken entirely. Softening up Your Prospects There's something I'm curious about. . . Self Persuasion Through Organization If you're anything like me, you're a very busy person. Not only am I busy with regular things--teaching, family, health maintenance--I'm also in the midst of a moving, requiring an added list of what needs to be done. It's hard to believe how much has to be done in a day and because this is on my mind, I'm inspired to write more on the topic of organization as I believe it has helped keep me on even footing in a time of change. History--It's all Frames "If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." --Abraham H. Maslow The Final Four: Linguistic Pitfalls Part Two Seems like some of my readers are paying attention and that's awesome. I wrote part one of this article a while back. It talks about eight common and avoidable pitfalls we have in language. In the article I wrote about 'but', 'if', 'try', and 'might' and how these words dilute the power of our language and dull our ability to persuade. Well, a few of my more observant readers noticed that if there are eight pitfalls and I only cited four, there must be four more traps out there with the potentia Persuasion Continuums II: Getting In Deeper In the first article of this series, "Persuasion Continuums" I started to describe one of the slickest persuasion tools around. I'm going to take it a little further here. Getting Touchy Feely Here's part three in the four part series of articles about the representational systems of communication. Previously I wrote an overview of the different systems and how we can use these to gain rapport for easier persuasion and then went into more detail about visual language. Well, with a title containing the words 'touchy feely' this can only be about kinesthetic language, words that describe things in a way so as to be touching and feeling. The Use of Scapegoats In Persuasion "United We Stand". For a while there nearly every other car in the country had a bumper sticker appealing to us to stand united, implicitly suggesting that this was our only salvation, because what happens when we don't stand united? That's right. We fall divided. Sugar is Essential: Reframing or Lying? I recently came across a banner ad on the internet that read: "Skip artificials. Go natural. Sugar: sweet by nature. Only 15 calories per teaspoon." Presupposition and Persuasion At the core of presupposition is the idea that we can assume a mental position or thought which our prospects or clients must take for granted in order for everything else that we say to make sense without us actually having to name the core concept. Pumping Up Your Persuasion Muscle I'm a new man. Over the last few years I've shed over one hundred and forty pounds of unwanted fat. I have a new attitude toward food and have learned to love the exercising. The Synergy of Affluence I'm so excited about a fairly recent addition to my coaching club: one-on-one calls with my students. These calls give us an opportunity to get into all kinds of things, from persuasion, affluence, and specialized help for specific areas where there might be struggle, to more spiritual matters. It seems like I'm getting as much out of these calls as my students. Slipping Into Our Prospect's Skin Harper Lee wrote in "To Kill a Mockingbird", "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." We've all heard that you can't truly know someone until you walk a mile in his shoes. . . .well, this technique is another figurative exploration in working with the energy of our prospects. Starting from the Beginning I've said it before, and I'll say it many times: Persuasion is first and foremost the study of human nature. And despite the things that are understandable about human nature, we are still very intricate and complex creatures. If all things were equal, there would still be some people who excel and others who get stuck. Do You Need A Swift Kick in the Butt? I've struggled with my weight my whole life. As far back as I can remember, I've felt bad about it. I was stuck in a body that wasn't what I wanted, that didn't fit with how I really saw myself and to me, it represented a weakness. Andrew Carnegie once said, "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." In my heart and mind, I felt this struggle was keeping me from self mastery and frustrated the heck out of me. So Much Persuasion: Ways to Learn One of my newer students asked me on a recent call, "Kenrick, how are you able to keep track of all of the different language patterns and persuasion techniques that you know and use? I mean, each time we're on one of these coaching calls, it seems like you're not only using new techniques, but combining two or three or more techniques at once. Sometimes I can't even remember the first step. How can I remember to remember?' To Be (Sneaky) or Not to Be (Sneaky) Recently a student of mine posted a comment about my use of the relationship between teacher and student in an example of presupposition. They suggested, with a wink and a smiley face, that maybe I was being a little sneaky in using the example in a persuasive way. Storytelling for Quick Rapport You're face-to-face with a new prospect. They know very little about you, about the kind of person you are, and maybe they've got some defenses that you're going to have to overcome before trust can be established. The Benefits of Organization "Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -Albert Einstein 'Another Part of Me': Persuasion in Parts Parts. We are all made up of parts. A part of me wants a bagel with cream cheese, but another part of me really wants to continue to become healthier. Part of me wants to go take a nap, but this other part wants to finish the project I started. We divide ourselves into parts as a way to talk about our experiences. The Art of Change 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' --Albert Einstein Who's to blame? "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -Wayne Dyer Persuading with The Thirty Six Chinese Stratagem "So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will win a hundred times in a hundred battles. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you win one and lose the next. If you do not know yourself or your enemy, you will always lose." -Ancient Chinese Proverb The Structuring of Reality "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits How The Media Persuades "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche Don't Be a Sales Zombie Lately I've been updating my computer system. Again. And this requires occasional trips to the local computer chain store. For the most part, I'm in and out in a few minutes, knowing exactly what I want and need. But when I'm looking for a more expensive piece of equipment, I have an experience I call, "Attack of the Sales Zombies'. Obstacles Into Opportunities "It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities." --Eric Hoffer Reframing Obstacles Into Opportunities "It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities." --Eric Hoffer Selling Through Future Pacing Future pacing is a phenomenal strategy that reminds your prospect of all the reasons they made the decision to purchase or sign up with you, and transfers all of those reasons to the future, reminding them why, through triggers and signals that you will have installed. Appealing to Emotions in Business This might, on the surface, sound a little out there, but here's something I find overrated: Rationality. Sure, sure, it's important to have a solid foundation, a base from which to work, feet planted firmly on the ground, and all that, but in business the idea of rationality has won out exclusively over all else. In my opinion, we've lost something in the transition from 'mom and pop' businesses to faceless corporations. An integral part of selling our products or services, especially when dealing with an affluent clientle, is our ability to reach them on an emotional level. How to Maintain Good Boundaries in Rapport "It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer Picking and Choosing: Power Persuasion Metaphors I understand that the concept of 'energy' seems a bit new-age to some folks. Personally, I find it to be an integral part of understanding the 'self'. Understanding the self, is the first step in learning persuasion. Using the Forbidden to Persuade 'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer Persuading with the Awareness Pattern "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." -Henry Miller Three of a Kind: Repetition as Persuasion "Rhythm is something you either have or don't have, and when you have it, you have it all over." -Elvis Presley Blame as Persuasion: Use with Caution I have written previously about the term 'everything happens for a reason' as a technique to utilize the inherent trust many people have in this concept. I also wrote about how superstition can be a powerful persuasive tool. If you've read those articles and put the tools to work in your life, you already understand the power they hold. The Courage to Master Your Fears "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear."--Mark Twain Adjusting Your Lens In previous articles I've discussed some framing basics. Obviously, framing can't be summed up in a few little articles, but it's a foundation from which to build our persuasion arsenals. Calibration Effect When I was a young man my first job in sales was selling gym memberships. One of the trainers that worked at this gym was a great guy, funny, sociable, and well liked, but he had tremendous difficulty communicating with certain types of people. My favorite thing about him was that he was always himself. This character trait had the downside of putting him against a wall where he became ineffective in his job. Resolutions Yup. It's that time of year again. Fresh starts, new beginnings, an opportunity to recreate ourselves anew. . . I love welcoming a new year with hope and optimism. I love to set out a game plan for the upcoming year. The New Year's resolution is a concept devoted to self improvement and I am relentless about self improvement. The Frame of Beginning Beginnings are everywhere all the time. Everything has a beginning, middle and end. And when we begin with clarity and intention, it sets our path for what we can expect. Sitting down to start a presentation with a new client or prospect, how do you begin? Learning Persuasion I had a student ask me recently, "Kenrick, how do you keep track of all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a conference call or seminar, you pull out another technique adding to the dozens and dozens of techniques we've already learned. I can't even remember to use the 'unconscious hello'." Hopping Into Someone Else's Skin You've heard the saying; you can't know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This is a technique on how to gain rapport by jumping into another person, stepping in, sliding in, moving in, being in that person, figuratively walking a mile in their shoes. Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Buyer's Remorse And How to Short Circuit It It's human nature to want to believe that we have done something of value when we make a purchase. We like to feel we've used proper sense and keen determination in choosing things that are going to be good for us and of the greatest use. And we most certainly want to know we'll feel good about the choices we've made in the long run. Being Open To Our Prospect's Energy On occasion, I like to bring up ideas, exercises and concepts that some would consider to be a little woo woo, esoteric, or downright crazy. When I do this, I simply ask for your indulgence and suggest that even if something is unusual, it has potential to work wonders and give value. Gut Check: Calibrating With Yourself Intuition is defined as "the immediate apprehension of an object by the mind without the intervention of any reasoning process" [Oxford English Dictionary]. What Are You Full Of? When interacting with our affluent prospects and clients we need to exude confidence and self assuredness. We need to really show them what we're made of. There's a point, however, where confidence becomes over confident and assuredness becomes arrogance. These are not good qualities in a sales professional. Competence, self assurance, and confidence are excellent things to be full of. Choosing a Talisman for Affluence Amulets have been used throughout the ages to protect the holder from trouble. Talismans are objects that bring luck. Both have been around since the dawn of man. Literally. I don't have proof, but I wholeheartedly believe that the first man ever saw a rock or shell and picked it up and thought to himself, 'This is a special item which will bring me luck and protect me from evil.' The Persuasion of Isolation A documentary came out late last year called Jonestown: The Life and Death of People's Temple. It's the history, through photographs, film clips, recordings and interviews with survivors, of the cult leader Jim Jones and the eventual mass murder/"suicide" of 913 members of the People's Temple in Guyana. Persuasion Through Base Desires This is a subject that's near and dear to my heart. I've been exploring it over the last year and a half and have had some tremendous results with self persuasion and self mastery in this arena. Creating Group Rapport When I first started out in the persuasion business I would have huge anxiety for about a week before a big seminar. I was impossible to be around. My family would sequester themselves and avoid me. Even my dog steered clear of my office somehow intuitively knowing I was in no mood to play. Not only was the gear up for these events intense and chaotic, but the let down after, not because the event was not successful, but because the energy I spent and absorbed and that worked its way though me, Emotional Persuasion Through Storytelling I'll admit it. I cry at movies sometimes. I'm comfortable with it and not ashamed in the least. Movies are stories and stories have been used to elicit emotions (either by design or accident) since the beginning of man. Some of the most fantastic stories are tremendously moving. This emotion can be manifested as a 'feel good' or a 'tear jerker', it can be uplifting or depressing, revolutionary, or merely entertaining. The most important thing to keep upper most in your mind as you think about st Layers of Complexity in Life and Persuasion: I Am An Onion I love metaphors. And one metaphor that has been especially potent for me lately has been that of an onion. A core component of The Cleveland Method deals with an understanding of our own core drives and unconscious motivations. It's by focusing inward that we can genuinely understand others. Unselfconscious Affluence Of course, we didn't all grow up financially comfortable. Several of my most successful students are real rags to riches stories gaining their vast financial successes through single-minded perseverance, education, hard work, intention and a little luck. Becoming Magnetic A very spiritual woman I know shared the following with me: she said, 'I used to have unfortunate beliefs about myself and I received back from external influences unfortunate results. When I decided to take control and raise my resonance, to be the change I wanted to become, to allow abundance and love come flow through me, absolutely everything fell into place. I am now living a life of leisure with a beautiful husband and I can draw what I want into my universe at will.' Manifesting Your Desires with Paper Seeds When I was young I lived on my grandpa's farm and he taught me some very important lessons. Another of the lessons had to do with the Biblical verse, 'As you sow so shall ye reap.' Beyond Boxes If you've ever sold anything ever, you've probably been subjected to the dreaded 'sales training' where you may have been taught your typical 'features and benefits' type training or some other easily definable, package-able, pat kind of interaction between prospect and sales professional. I learned these myself as a young man and quickly realized they were a road to nowhere. I had an awakening which opened up my sales unbelievably. Storytelling Persuasion 'Facts and figures are forgotten. Stories are retold.' -Jeffrey Gitomer Contrary: Dealing with Polarity Responders What's a polarity responder? We've all had dealings with them. They are someone who no matter what the situation, statement or issue at hand, has to respond in opposition. 'It's a beautiful day.' The Continuums of Persuasion: Keys to Your Prospect's Particulars Recently I heard a pretty funny joke: 'I have the idea that one person's dream is another person's nightmare. For example, it's my dream to sleep with Cindy Crawford. I'll bet you anything that would be her nightmare.' Persuasion Continuums: The Key To Your Prospect's Particulars I heard a joke recently that I thought was pretty funny. 'I have the idea that one person's dream is another person's nightmare. For example, it's my dream to sleep with Cindy Crawford. I'll bet you anything that would be her nightmare.' Persistence Here's a quote by Dale Carnegie. "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." Negating Words: But I really like you, but. . . When Friendlies Attack I like the way Abraham Lincoln said it best, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" Seeing What Sticks: The Old Fashioned Way to Sell How do you know when your pasta is done cooking? You take one noodle and throw it up against the wall. If it sticks, it's done. The old-fashioned sales technique of 'features and benefits' makes me think of throwing a whole pot of noodles against the wall to see what sticks. Why not narrow it down to your client's criteria instead of taking a shot in the dark and throwing everything you can at it? Returning to Bondage "The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependence; from dependency back again into bondage." --Sir Alex Fraser Tyler (1742-1813) Scottish jurist and historian The Self Fulfilling Prophesy of Breath "Simply breathe - deeply and often, and whatever you do, don't stop breathing!" --Cheryl Lynne Rubbo This is a great exercise in leading your affluent prospects and clients and taking full credit for something they do every day, something so basic and primal that three minutes without it would kill them. I'm talking, of course, about breathing. Persuade the Affluent Through Embedded Suggestions "Persuasion is often more effectual than force." -Aesop How to Stifle Your Prospect's Inner Critics Critical judgment. . . it's an obstacle for us as sales professionals and persuaders. Our main goal is shutting down the inner critics of the people we're selling our products or services to. This can be accomplished by getting them out of their lives and showing them what could be, something bigger and better. Too Much To Choose From Toothpaste. It's an everyday necessity (hopefully!!), something that everyone needs. And yet, I noticed myself in a grocery store recently confronted with what felt like a very daunting task--how to choose from the dozens of brands, flavors, sizes of toothpaste available. Why do we need so many flavors--cinnamon, spearmint, fennel, wintergreen, strawberry, bubblegum, berry? Too Much Choice This has happened to me. Maybe it's because I don't normally do the grocery shopping. I've gone into the supermarket or drug store for a tube of toothpaste and found myself confronted with three or four dozen varieties of toothpaste. Why? It's a fairly simple substance. We use it every day, hopefully twice. So why are there so many to choose from? We've got cream paste, gel, gel with sparkles, whitening toothpaste, some with baking soda, others for sensitive gums. There's toothpastes for kids, n Superstition As Persuasion When a person sneezes, we say 'God bless you'. That's a superstition. It started in the Middle Ages when it was thought that the devil could enter a person when unguarded, such as in the midst of a sneeze. If someone said the magic words, 'God bless you', immediately after the sneeze, then this unfortunate demonic possession could be avoided. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire Under the heading of 'human nature' comes lying. Humans lie. Period. Big lies, small lies, lies to spare feelings, lies to spare trouble. Clean Out Your Trash You've heard the saying, "a person takes three steps forward and two back". How would you like to eliminate the need to take the two steps back? Pitching The Pitch, Ditching The Script "The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself." - Peter F. Drucker Exploring the Unknown with Curiosity We are born ready to suck up as much information as we possibly can. The world around us is an endless source of fascination and curiosity. And as we grow, and if we have our base needs met, we soon come to the point of requiring more--the process of self-actualization. Awareness: The Language Pattern "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." - Henry Miller What's all the fuss about 'The Secret'? Here's a sure sign of having made it to the collective consciousness: Getting Into The Flow "The real 'haves' are they who can acquire freedom, self-confidence, and even riches without depriving others of them. They acquire all of these by developing and applying their potentialities. On the other hand, the real 'have nots' are they who cannot have aught except by depriving others of it. They can feel free only by diminishing the freedom of others, self-confident by spreading fear and dependence among others, and rich by making others poor." - Eric Hoffer Cold Calling, Rest in Peace Endings are hard. Sometimes we cling to people, places, things, that we've outgrown, because of a nostalgia, or out of habit.
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