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Taxes - Laughing When You Should Cry

If you can't laugh at yourself, you really are in trouble. Well, does the same thing apply to the IRS? Although not known for its sense of humor, there are no reports of the agency auditing the following people for saying these humorous things.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! - Jerry Seinfeld

Maybe we ought to see that every person who gets a tax return receives a copy of the Communist Manifesto with it so he can see what's happening to him. - T. Coleman Andrews, Former Commissioner of IRS

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract - teach him to deduct. - Fran Lebowitz

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq. - Conan O'Brien

The term "tax humor" is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code. - John F. Iekel

There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some. - Martin A. Sullivan

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Called in for an audit, Mr. Briggs was confronted by a surly IRS agent. "It says here, Mr. Briggs, that you are a bachelor; yet you claim a dependent son. Surely this must be a mistake." Looking him straight in the eye, Mr. Briggs replied, "Yup, it surely was."

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform. - Russell B. Long, U.S. Senator

When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes naturally, no one wants to live any other way. - Judith Martin

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of. - Andy Rooney

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf. - Will Rogers

If we don't do something to simplify the tax system, we're going to end up with a national police force of internal revenue agents. - Leon Panetta

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Barry Waxler is a financial advisor with UFCAmerica.com. This and other unique content irs articles are available with free reprint rights.

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