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Listen to This

"It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Persuading powerfully has many ingredients -- being flexible, really understanding criteria and core values, and one of the most important persuasion activities is being a good listener. Some people are naturals at this, others need practice, and plenty of it. If your goal is to become the best persuader you can be, sharpening your listening skills is mandatory.

When you listen actively, you are not formulating your arguments or answers in your head as they are talking. You're actually listening while they are talking. When they are done talking, that is the time to formulate your response. There are both verbal and non-verbal indications that you are listening -- for example, eye contact is a big one (if you're in person), same with nodding or smiling or other facial or physical agreements. If you're on the phone, you'll give verbal prodding, like an occasional 'um hum'. Listening requires also that you ask pertinent follow up questions.

The power of listening is most apparent in persuasion when we elicit our prospect's criteria and core values. We ask the question, "What will having X do for you?" When we ask this, we prepare ourselves to listen. We unlock the core values and criteria of our prospects and clients and in order to gain full advantage, we have to hear what they're saying and not be off in our minds thinking of what we're going to say next.

By paraphrasing what we have heard them say once we ask the criteria elicitation questions, we are conveying to them that we have really heard them. "So what you're telling me is that you're looking for X" or "It seems to me that you are interested in Y". We are showing our interest in what drives them and by expressing our understanding, we are also building trust with them.

The next level could be that you really key into the representational system that your prospect is operating within. Using auditory, kinesthetic or visual language will further deepen the trust and comfort you are establishing. "I'm seeing that a new financial advisor will really lighten up your load and you will have a greater vision for the future that you have always seen for yourself."

An often underutilized tool is silence. So many folks are incredibly uncomfortable with silence that they will do everything in their power to fill it up. Let them. Don't be afraid to stay silent while they fill up the air with more of what they want and need as that will better enable you to marry their desires with your products and services.

Another very important aspect of listening is knowing how to respond with empathy. We all have wildly different experiences in life and sometimes it's hard to know how to relate to other people, but keep in mind, that despite our differences, we are all fundamentally driven by the same things. . . the core drives. We've all experienced loss, joy, frustration, enthusiasm. . . and on some level, we can connect with another's experience.

Listening is something that you can learn through practice and persistence.

Article Source: http://www.uberarticles.com/articles

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies. Don't reprint the same version as everyone else. Get your own unique content persuasion article here.

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