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How to Maintain Good Boundaries in Rapport

"It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer

Rapport is one of the most important aspects in persuasive sales. It's mandatory to achieve and its benefits are innumerable. And yet, rapport has its downside. I learned this early on, and it wasn't an easy lesson.

I used to sell encyclopedias when I was young, and I would go into a person's home, and I would sit down and I would get in rapport with them. I would learn about their family, about their little kids, about all the stuff that was going on in their house.

One time I was working in Washington in a little city that was undergoing some very difficult financial times. I didn't know it before I started working in the area. But I had booked a room and made the travel plans and gotten into it and so I had to make some sales. I had a heck of a time getting appointments and when I finally did get appointments I would sit down with my prospects, and learn about them, and make my presentation, and eventually I would ask them, 'Do you see the value in what I've shown you so far?'

'Yeah, oh, yeah, I see the value, these are really great books.'

'Can you see how our question answering service will help your children with any questions they need help with? This will help with not only their reports, but with the education overall. And couldn't you see yourself using these encyclopedias too?'

'Sure. I'd love to use them and I know my kids would definitely benefit.'

'Fabulous. Well then, why don't we get you started?'

'I'd love to get these for my family, but the mill just closed. . .' and then he went into his sad story.

And by the time we got to the end of their story, I was in such deep rapport with this guy that I was almost in tears.

'Well, of course, I can understand why you're not going to buy anything from me today. We can always come back at a later time in the future, and if you have my information, we'll be able to come in when you do have some money, when you're able to get back to work."

And, I did this day, after day, after day. Until I realized, all of a sudden, oops, I think this is kind of hurting me, and what I did, one day, is I didn't have as much rapport, or so I thought, didn't have nearly as much, but they liked the materials so well and even though they didn't have the money, they said they were going to go ahead and buy it.

After they'd bought it, they told me their story about how the mill had closed, and how they weren't working, but their kids were the most important thing to them that even though they didn't have the money, their kids were most important and they were going to do it.

What a revelation that was so even though you're not working, that may play a part. They were not going to allow them to suffer because of their financial situation, and they would do whatever it took in order to get their kids the education they needed.

What this story illustrates is that I realized if you jump into rapport with somebody and get in there really deep, you might forget about your outcome. When that happens you become putty in their hands, instead of the other way around. We want the our clients to be putty in our hands.

Keep this in mind: maintain your outcome, your intention, what it is that you want to have happen and set that strongly in your mind no matter what they have to say to you.

Intention is what makes these skills so powerful. Your intention is not to make new friends, your intention is to sell.

What is your intention? Are you maintaining boundaries as they relate to rapport?

Article Source: http://www.uberarticles.com/articles

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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